Just the 2ofUs

Marriage, Family, and Encouragement

Does God Love You? March 4, 2011

Filed under: Encouragement — Nichole and Malcolm @ 8:39 pm

Can you believe that this question is posed more than one might think.  If God loves me then why is my situation like this?  Why did God allow this to happen if He loves me so much?  These types of questions and complaints seem to be warranted in the midst of our trials and tribulations, but there is something we must always remember and that is what John 3:16 says “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him(Jesus) shall not perish but have eternal life.”  God is just that mindful of you and me that He would send His Son to die for us and not just any death but one of a common criminal.  So when the devil tries to put his wedge of discouragement between you and your Saviour just remember that God does love you oh so much.  Remember it takes more not to believe that God loves and cares for you, because God’s  Spirit is in your trust in Him not in your distrust of Him “We can do ALL things through Christ…” Philippians 4:13

God Bless

The Taylors

 

Do you think your kids appreciate you?

Filed under: Kids Topics — Nichole and Malcolm @ 7:47 pm

As I look back on my childhood I can see more clearly the highs and the lows my parents went through in raising us.  When I was a child I could not understand and nor could I appreciate the sacrifices that were constantly being made for me and my siblings on my parents behalf.  I must say that the spiritual training my mother instilled in me has helped in my clear hindsight.  “Train a child in the way he/she should go and when he/she is old he/she will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6  This scripture is so true to our relationship we should have with our children and that is living the love of Jesus in front of them and telling them about the Man who died on the cross to save us ALL.  This means parents, not only taking tv time from our kids but from ourselves too and spending that quality time with our children which they need so much.  By doing this our children will look back with fond memories and appreciate us for what we did through Jesus leading us.  Then the answer to this question would be yes they appreciate you oh so much!  Remember when all else fails God won’t.

God Bless

The Taylors

 

Make It Last Forever February 27, 2011

Filed under: Marriage/Family Topics,Uncategorized — Nichole and Malcolm @ 10:02 pm

Make It Last Forever

Just last week I was getting out of my truck and preparing to walk into a building when I noticed an older couple giving each other a passionate kiss.  Now when I say an older couple, meaning a couple that looked as if they were in their late 60’s.  The gentleman opened the door for the lady and squeezed her tight while commencing to give her a sweet and gentle kiss on the lips.  As I watched the both of them, I thought to myself,  “Wow”….how nice it is to see sincere love exuding from the both of them and how real love can last after so many years and that old school love still exists.  I did not know this couple or how long they have been married or even if they were married.  However, I will say and can say that I was witnessing true love right there in front of me. 

When we say “I do” before God and man, we are making a commitment to God first and then to one other.  Committing that we are in it until death do us part.  “I do”, doesn’t mean that loving someone is easy but loving them unconditionally!!  So let’s continue to keep Christ “FIRST” in our marriages so that one day, someone will be telling a story about us and how we are making it last forever….until death do us partJ

 

The 72 Hour Rule: Keep Others Out of Your Marriage

 From experience I’ve learned to be more patient. I’ve also learned to avoid having to do damage control after telling too much too soon. It caused a huge rift in my marriage and is in my opinion one of the contributing factors that lead to my divorce. One piece of advice that I offer to those who seek my counsel, is that they impose a 72 hour rule in their households.

What’s the 72 hour rule?

Waiting 72 hours before you vent to anyone about something your spouse did/or didn’t do that you didn’t agree with or appreciate. If the problem hasn’t been resolved in 72 hours, you are allowed to vent to one person who is a non-family member (I’ll explain why a family member shouldn’t be an option later).

Why Wait 72 hours?

I’m pretty candid about my past. I believe that we all can allow God to use the mistakes that we make to create positive outcomes. So frankly I remember the days when my ex-husband would do something that I deemed as horrific. I’d call my mom, girlfriends, and anyone else who would listen to me vent about the situation. Only to find that in the next 24-48 hours we (my husband and I) would discuss the situation and make up.

The problem with this is that while you and your spouse are making up, your friends/family members are discussing your situation with others (Yes, hard to believe but they will tell at least one other person about your situation whether they disclose your identity or not). And if this isn’t your first time discussing your spouse’s flaws/mistakes to them, you can believe that they have a mental rolling tab of them. And it’s only natural, because the person that you choose to vent to has a loyalty to you…not your spouse. It’s highly unlikely that you’re going to call your spouse’s mother and talk to her about how insensitive your spouse is and how he’s overly controlling. Because naturally you know that while she may listen, her loyalty will most like lie with her child.

The 72 hour rule also gives you some time to rationally think about the situation. Often times, many (myself included) of us choose to make decisions when we’re the most emotional. If you wait at least 72 hours, it allows you time to re-evaluate the severity of the situation. For example, you may not agree with your spouse’s purchase of that riding lawn mower. And initially you think he’s being selfish about buying it. But in 72 hours, you may come to realize that it will result in him spending less time cutting grass on Saturdays. And it may add to your time together, because the old push mower that you owned required him to work all day.

Who Can I Talk To?

 That’s a great question and there’s an even better solution. The first one you should seek to tell is God (Psalm 55:22). Pour out your cares and fears to him first!!! If there’s anyone who can cause change to a situation it is him (Matt. 19:26). That’s the reason it doesn’t benefit for anyone to vent to their friends/family as a first resort! They honestly don’t have any way to change the situation. The power is in God’s hand. And when you ask him for the strength and power to handle it, be patient and trust that he will make it better (Psalm 27:14).

Why NOT Family?

Your family has an underlying emotional love for you that will rarely ever fade. As much as you may preface a conversation with “I want you to just listen”, they are still going to inately try to help devise a resolution to the problem, whether you ask for it or not. Not to mention, because of the strong bond that family members have they aren’t likely to fully forget. Don’t think that’s true…vaguely ask them about a situation from 2 years ago. Chances are they can give it to you in full detail. It’s best to have one key friend that isn’t in direct relation to your family. If possible, seek to speak to a leader in your church. It may help you speak more candidly and confidently about your situation. And may serve to help you gain the strength to be patient and wait.

When NOT to use the 72 Hour Rule

If you’re a victim of domestic violence, seek immediate help. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Below are resources, that offer more insight about domestic violence. If you know or suspect someone is a victim of domestic violence, please speak up.

National Domestic Violence Hotline, 1-800-799-SAFE

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm

http://www.dm.usda.gov/shmd/aware.htm

Saving Face

The 72-hour rule is created to help you avoid the need for damage control. You should never speak poorly of your spouse to anyone, if you can avoid it. We’re all flawed and if you’re constantly speaking to others about your spouses’, people are going to have a negative impression of them that will be hard to overcome. I share my experiences, so that others can avoid the unnecessary pitfalls that may surface in marriages. While the devil destroyed my marriage, I’m determined to work harders so the same doesn’t happen to many others.

God bless you all!



WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE?

Tanisha Rankins is a motivational speaker, encouraging diligence to create positive results from negative situations. Having faced and overcome consistent adversity, Rankins attributes her positivity and resilience to her strong faith in God. Through her own experience with divorce, Rankins now serves as a coach for those who are/have gone through divorce/separation. In her weekly blog, “Divorced…But Not By Choice”, she speaks candidly about the negative effects of divorce and gives advice to help others recover from it in a healthy manner.

For more information on Tanisha Rankins, feel free to check out her website, www.TanishaRankins.com, She can be contacted at info@tanisharankins.com to send inquiries or to book speaking engagements.

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Trusting in God February 7, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Nichole and Malcolm @ 9:38 am
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There are times when we worry about a loved one, a spouse, a family member, co-worker, our jobs, school, or whatever it is that may keep us up worrying or stressing. One of my favorite scriptures is Joshua 1:9 that says: Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. When I read this, it tells me that God has commanded me to be anything but terrified, discouraged, or stressed because he has it all. All we have to do is just believe in him, have faith, and trust that he will carry our burdens for us if we just turn them over to him.

By: Nichole and Malcolm Taylor

 

Got Stress? January 21, 2011

Filed under: Marriage/Family Topics — Nichole and Malcolm @ 8:19 pm
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Where do you put your stress? Some of us may answer this in many different ways but we as married couples tend to put our stress on our spouses or hold our spouses responsible for the stress we feel. Is this okay? Jesus tells us through the Psalmist, “Cast your cares on the Lord” Psalms 55:22. If we as couples assist each other with our daily stressors to bring our cares and worries to the Lord, we will most likely not put them on each other. This is a process in most cases and may not be an overnight success for us. But Matthew 19:26 says, “With God, all things are possible.” So the next time stress raises its ugly head in your life (marriage, children, job, etc.) gently express what you feel with your spouse and then the both of you prayerfully take it to God and leave it there.